“When we gather information about what menopause is, we usually find a physiological definition. Obviously, this definition conveys a list of symptoms that can occur in the body of a woman who reaches this stage. Typically we find the following definition: menopause is the time when the production of hormones in the woman’s ovaries ceases, and with it, the end of her fertile stage. Our bodies are designed to, one day, end the function by which we can have babies.”
Having the most explicit reference to this change as a physical change focuses our attention there. We seek to find the relief or disappearance of symptoms (which are normal in a natural process). Focusing only on this part can make the transition to the new stage of life difficult and tortuous.
Daring to lift the veil a little and see what is behind the physical brings invaluable information for adjusting to this new reality. We can even attempt to take part in its creation, defining what we will be for the rest of our life. We can redefine this moment. No longer a terrible loss of the best days of existence, it can be an invitation to a new state that promises a new era. Perhaps even one that is better. One that is full of joy and different, new and inspiring discoveries – as was the first half of life.
Menopause is just a natural time of change in life. Time passes and things are left behind. But other things remain. These traces of experience can be tools for the new circumstances that we are now beginning to experience.
This is a critical moment. We do have to make adjustments that we see and measure, as we have said, in the body. But behind those, is a parallel and subtle world that animates existence. Each change represents an opportunity to integrate what was learned in the past and release what no longer serves us. This creates a huge space of freedom that, until now, we did not enjoy. Before each loss, a space for gain opens. In each death, there is a rebirth. Just as some changes are seen, others occur at subtle levels. They are felt, but not evident. According to the laws of the universe, everything is one. If we attend to the unseen, the seen will transform into a domino effect.
For example:
I can no longer have babies because my body has stopped working for that purpose. Now I can explore a world in which these babies are projects or ideas. They arise from my creativity in a conscious, free and joyful way. I have my own resources to make of them what I wish.
I have had children. They are following their own paths and becoming responsible adults for themselves. All the care, listening and accompaniment that I devoted to them, I can now direct towards myself. I will continue loving you madly, but it is time to turn to my needs. Time to give myself the pampering I require so that the smile is a constant on my face.
Or, I did not have children, by choice, or because it was not possible for me. Perhaps the attention I pay to myself will make the changes that are taking place at all levels more evident. I can focus on their acceptance and management, finding in this a strength.
I have been alone with my partner. It is time to reevaluate ourselves by going back to the beginning, and to assess where we are. Where we want to be defines the new rules of the game.
Or, I have no partner, and I am terrified of being alone. It is an incredible opportunity to be loved in exactly the way I want to be. I am the one who will give me that love is myself. And I know my needs and desires perfectly.
My body no longer has the vitality it used to have. Slowing down allows me to enjoy a peaceful and precise look at what my physique requires. Now there is time to observe myself and give my body what it needs. I can pay attention to my diet. Maybe I maintain a less euphoric activity, but one that leads me to encounter nature. Now, instead of demanding high performance in the gym, I can walk, or do yoga or Pilates, or continue with another type of exercise. But I will do it for the pleasure of doing it and not for a demand that comes from the outside.
The key to making all these changes is the acceptance that the second half of life is a different time at all levels. And I can make it the moment to fall in love with myself.
Diana Torija.
Aging. Body Health. Lifestyle. Menopause.
