“The events and relationships of our life are the keys that open the deepest levels of our soul” – Eugenio Carutti
Life is Lived through Relationships
When we turn 50 or so, it is not uncommon to experience some unexpected thoughts and questions. You might have more concerns about the future and an increased sense of uncertainty about what to expect. Perhaps you feel a sense of nostalgia about your past and what you left behind. While reflecting and re-evaluating, it is important to take a careful look at the path you’ve traveled. If you can, try not to judge, point out, or regret, but simply observe. This is a good time to try to find ourselves and to consider looking at ourselves through our relationships.
This is the Moment
As women who are in a particular phase of our lives – perimenopause, menopause, or post-menopause – this is a particularly apt time to reap what we have sown. We may now recognize what we have accomplished. And observe the bonds that we’ve created for ourselves.
Stop and Think
If we slow down and take a moment to think, we might see that we have been living our whole lives through relationships. Mysteriously, life just seems to happen while we’re in the midst of our emotionally complex connections.
We started out in life born into a relationship. Quite a few of us have lived our lives in a relationship. And we can discover ourselves through our life-long relationships. We may realize how we are seen by others. We are remarkably connected to so many people and their emotions, actions, and reactions.
An Invitation
I invite you to pause and find yourself – to take a tour of the relationships that you have had and try to understand who they are and who they have been to you in your life. Regardless of whether these people are present or not in your current life, try to value, thank, and honor those people who have been directly or indirectly connected to you. Regardless of their roles or circumstances in your life, these are people who were important to you and that you needed at some point. After doing this relationship tour, thank each of them and yourself because your life has happened – thanks to them.
Live Your Life and Stay Connected
Throughout our lives, we may have focused on controlling our relationships or trying to control the events in those relationships. As a result, we might have missed valuable moments and opportunities to know ourselves. We might have found ourselves in those connections. These relationships have sustained us. There is no life without ties.
We learn, grow, stumble, and get up during our relationships. Relationships are personal, work associated, close or distant – but relationships remain a constant.
The Importance of Proximity
Who has survived without proximity? We need others nearby to relate to. Events generally don’t take place singularly. There are usually other people connected to our life events. Our brains need to be linked to other humans to survive. This takes relationships to another level. Perhaps it elevates them to their rightful place which we may have denied them. From the perspective of the Neufeld Model, this link is reflected in the search for proximity and connection, which is explained in-depth at the previous link.
We are Connected
From a broad perspective, we are all connected. We are all part of a great network of invisible threads that sustain everything we do, including our relationships, and ultimately which sustain our lives.
Mª Fernanda Núñez
Meditation. Menopause. Women’s Empowerment.
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