There are moments in life when we feel drained, exhausted, as if something invisible is constantly pulling our energy away. We wake up tired, our bodies feel heavy, our minds are cluttered, and our emotions sit just beneath the surface, waiting for the smallest trigger.
Time passes, and we find ourselves resisting change—fighting against the body we live in, against the world around us, and sometimes, even against ourselves. But have you ever stopped to ask yourself: Where is my energy going?
Today, I want to talk about a habit we often normalize—one that silently steals our strength, clarity, and well-being: complaining.
Complaining: A Habit That Disconnects You from Your Vital Energy
One way or another, we’ve all fallen into the trap of complaining. Complaining about the changes in our bodies. About the exhaustion. About the loneliness. About life itself. And sometimes, we surround ourselves with people who do the same.
When complaining becomes a habit, we slip into a state of helplessness. It starts to feel like everything that happens to us is beyond our control—our partner, our job, our children, society. We convince ourselves there’s nothing we can do, that it’s too late, and so we give up.
And here’s the real problem: Complaining paralyzes us. It drains our energy, keeps us stuck in a loop of dissatisfaction, and prevents us from seeing what we can change.
The Impact of Complaining on Your Mind and Body
When we repeat certain thoughts or behaviors, our brain strengthens the neural pathways associated with them. The more we complain, the more our mind normalizes it as our default response.
The result? Stress, anxiety, and chronic exhaustion.
When stress becomes constant, our body releases more cortisol, the stress hormone, which:
- Disrupts sleep and leaves us feeling drained.
- Weakens the immune system.
- Increases inflammation and joint pain.
- Makes us more prone to anxiety and depression.
- Impairs memory and concentration.
- Prevents us from fully enjoying the present.
Sound familiar?
Now, imagine the impact this has during menopause and midlife. Our bodies are already going through a profound transformation, and adding chronic stress to the mix is like throwing fuel on the fire.
But here’s something I want you to remember: There is always something we can do.
Turning Complaints into Strength: A Conscious Path
The good news? You can channel that same energy into real change. This isn’t about ignoring how you feel, but rather using those feelings as a guide to discover what needs your attention.
Here’s a four-step practice to help you shift from frustration to empowerment:
1. Acknowledge the Complaint Without Judgment
Instead of suppressing it, make space for it. What is it really telling you? What part of your life is asking for attention? This isn’t about self-blame—it’s about listening to what your heart is trying to say.
2. Recognize How It Affects Your Body
Every thought creates a physical reaction. How does complaining feel in your body? Does it tighten your shoulders? Weigh down your chest? Leave a knot in your stomach? Becoming aware of these sensations helps you break the cycle of unconscious reactions.
3. Accept and Take Responsibility
Acceptance does not mean resignation. Acceptance means looking at reality without resistance, understanding that we can only change what we first acknowledge.
Ask yourself:
- Does this frustration come from something I can control?
- If so, what can I do differently?
- If not, how can I shift my perspective?
4. Take Conscious Action
Once you’ve identified the root of the complaint, do something about it. Turn that energy into a movement that nourishes you. Maybe it means setting a boundary, stepping away from a draining relationship, saying “no” more often, or simply choosing yourself over the expectations of others.
Sometimes, the most revolutionary thing we can do is prioritize ourselves.
Final Thoughts: Your Energy Is Your Most Precious Gift
Midlife is an invitation to reclaim your power. To decide what you want to hold onto and what you’re ready to release.
If complaining has been taking up too much space in your life, give yourself this gift: Observe it. Accept it. Transform it into strength.
And remember: You are your most precious treasure. Create a life you love.
Mariela Mazza.
Menopause. Mental Wellbeing. Women’s Empowerment.
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